Lindsey: My mouth was watering at the sounds of the marinara sauce and foreign taste you experienced in your trip abroad. This blog was very straight forward and to the point which is something I appreciated. It was an easy read and I was done in no time. I would challenge yourself to play with your form of writing with maybe a more poetic approach. Your blog about epilepsy was really interesting, especially with all the medical language you used. I think you should continue to write about these experiences. For this blog we were encouraged to allow the style of writing reflect the chaos of the situation and I would have liked to see that a bit more.
Jesse: In prompt 14, I really appreciated how you used the numbers to indicate different tid-bits at the end of the story. These facts actually is what made the story interesting and really captured your recipe. It reminded me a lot of my life, not knowing Spanish and too afraid to speak it. You used a different approach and I appreciate that risk. For your second blog, unflappable is now my favorite word. I was really surprised by the mans ear falling off. I would have liked to hear more about this, especially knowing you are rather skilled are writing intricate stories based on simplicity. That story was so interesting to me that the second part when you went to the hospital seemed misplaced. It was still great though.
Miranda: Keep writing. I really love your style. I missed reading your posts this week.
John: The recipe blog left me a little confused because of the flow of it. However, I didn't mind that at all, in fact it seemed appropriate. It was interesting how you revealed a lot of personal information in a very round about way. When you listed the recipes at the beginning, it really captured the monotony of eating the same thing over and over and over...I liked that it captured that essence, but reading all the recipes at once made my mind wonder. I would play with finding a way to keep intrigue and capture that monotony. Your so close to it! For your other blog, I'm surprised you hated it that much. I think it was more of you hating the moment you were stuck in than anything. I actually really enjoyed your reflection on being witness to just life. It was simple, easy to read, and honest. I've been there too though.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Recipe for Dance: the culture behind the art. Prompt 14
Part 1
1 creativity
2 parts submissive behavior
3 part being objectivity
2 parts individual artistry
Dance is a culture that requires one to creative, submissive, objective, and individualized. Wait, what? That makes no sense. How can one be required to shed their individual ways of expression and be apart of a group, all while developing themselves as a free thinking artist? This recipe makes no sense as it seems to lead me turning round and round in circles chasing something that exists no where else but in my own head. Or maybe all the turning has just left me dizzy. At this point, I can’t tell if the confusion is found in my body or my brain.
Part 2
4 parts taking care of your body
5 parts following an instructor
Dance class starts and we spend the first 20 minutes meditating so that we can listen to our bodies. “Be good to your body, and take care of it. This is your instrument, your paint brush, your means of expression”. What a lovely thought. But in this current moment my hip flexors hurts like hell, my shoulders have more knots than a rope, and I’m so exhausted I think I was sleeping instead of meditating. We than move into stretching, in which we lie on our backs with one leg raised to our side. I naturally attempt to extend my limbs further than seems acceptable in any other circumstance, and my body screeches in pain that I choose to ignore. But alas, this is not enough for the instructor as he walks up to me and lifts my leg until my knee is almost at my ear. Please explain to me how this involves taking care of my body?
Part 3
All parts balance
Center, core, pyramidalis, dan tien. Whatever you want to call it in which ever language seems most appropriate the key to balance is to breathe into your center. More importantly, balance is not a stationary position but instead a give and take of it all. Suddenly creativity, submissive behavior, being an objective, finding individual artistry, taking care of your body, and listening to one’s instructor all makes sense. The over aching, underlining, and final emphasis is the culture of dance is balance.
1 creativity
2 parts submissive behavior
3 part being objectivity
2 parts individual artistry
Dance is a culture that requires one to creative, submissive, objective, and individualized. Wait, what? That makes no sense. How can one be required to shed their individual ways of expression and be apart of a group, all while developing themselves as a free thinking artist? This recipe makes no sense as it seems to lead me turning round and round in circles chasing something that exists no where else but in my own head. Or maybe all the turning has just left me dizzy. At this point, I can’t tell if the confusion is found in my body or my brain.
Part 2
4 parts taking care of your body
5 parts following an instructor
Dance class starts and we spend the first 20 minutes meditating so that we can listen to our bodies. “Be good to your body, and take care of it. This is your instrument, your paint brush, your means of expression”. What a lovely thought. But in this current moment my hip flexors hurts like hell, my shoulders have more knots than a rope, and I’m so exhausted I think I was sleeping instead of meditating. We than move into stretching, in which we lie on our backs with one leg raised to our side. I naturally attempt to extend my limbs further than seems acceptable in any other circumstance, and my body screeches in pain that I choose to ignore. But alas, this is not enough for the instructor as he walks up to me and lifts my leg until my knee is almost at my ear. Please explain to me how this involves taking care of my body?
Part 3
All parts balance
Center, core, pyramidalis, dan tien. Whatever you want to call it in which ever language seems most appropriate the key to balance is to breathe into your center. More importantly, balance is not a stationary position but instead a give and take of it all. Suddenly creativity, submissive behavior, being an objective, finding individual artistry, taking care of your body, and listening to one’s instructor all makes sense. The over aching, underlining, and final emphasis is the culture of dance is balance.
Peer Review
hey guys! This weekend is my senior transition show. I choreographed 2 works and one is performed each night. I wanted to invite you all if you are interested in coming. Here is a link with more information:
Also here is a promotional video:
if you guys end up going, let me know.
Lindsey: From the start of this writing, I could tell as soon as you read the prompt, you knew you would be writing about this place. Throughout this piece you went in and out of using long descriptive sentences to short action sentences. This allowed for a really nice flow and made the action within the story really pop out. The descriptions were very vivid and captured not only the scenery, but the essence of the cabin. The only part of the story I could suggest to challenge yourself with is trying to write from a new perspective. Since the cabin is a place in your past, it would have been interesting to hear the story from your perspective back then. Maybe even go in and out of different perspectives. Overall, I though the story had a really nice flow that made for an enjoyable read.
Jesse: In your blog "it takes me forever to get anywhere" I was thoroughly surprised that the trip never happened, even though I knew that was the prompt. I got so swept up in the relationship between you and your sister, I forgot what the writing was about. I adore your use of language and how it captures the simple things with such honesty. For example, " From that day on I decided to manipulate people's perspectives, to seek camouflage in mediocrity, and to revel in lowered expectations." I just love this because it really captures how a sibling relationship can impact you. Superfly was simple and brilliant. The pictures really added to the overall humor of the story. I can't think of anything to correct you on. Your writing is wonderful.
Miranda: Are you a ceramics major? And are you describing the ceramics lab on campus? Two things: I live with a ceramics major and I have been there! You really captured the this place with your description. Your writing added a lot of subtle suspense which creates more intrigue for the reader. For your second blog, it really seems like you went there. It was a seamless description with a clear story, I didn't even think for a second that you hadn't gone. I really love the way you describe things because you aren't afraid to take risks with unique, nontraditional adjectives. The only thing that would really help me as a reader is if you put the prompt number next to your title. It was just help organizationally.
John: In your blog of a trip not taken, I really appreciate the approach you took in finding a place no one actually wanted to go. I would have never thought to take this prompt in that direction. The way you write is very rhythmic and vague, allowing for the reader to really feel as though we are inside your head. I felt as trapped as the writer, and am glad you never actually took this trip. In your post about the football fields, it brought me back to when I was a little girl watching my brother play football. I am glad this place exists for you and your family. What I appreciate about this blog is the optimism that sometimes is lost is your writing. Writing seems to be an outlet for you, which is wonderful, but it's nice to read something with a more upbeat voice as it captures a new side of your writing. The way you use punctuation sometimes confuses me, but other times adds to the flow. So I'm not sure if it's a critic or not, but it's just something to consider...or not. You have a strong voice of your own, so stick to your gut.
Also here is a promotional video:
if you guys end up going, let me know.
Lindsey: From the start of this writing, I could tell as soon as you read the prompt, you knew you would be writing about this place. Throughout this piece you went in and out of using long descriptive sentences to short action sentences. This allowed for a really nice flow and made the action within the story really pop out. The descriptions were very vivid and captured not only the scenery, but the essence of the cabin. The only part of the story I could suggest to challenge yourself with is trying to write from a new perspective. Since the cabin is a place in your past, it would have been interesting to hear the story from your perspective back then. Maybe even go in and out of different perspectives. Overall, I though the story had a really nice flow that made for an enjoyable read.
Jesse: In your blog "it takes me forever to get anywhere" I was thoroughly surprised that the trip never happened, even though I knew that was the prompt. I got so swept up in the relationship between you and your sister, I forgot what the writing was about. I adore your use of language and how it captures the simple things with such honesty. For example, " From that day on I decided to manipulate people's perspectives, to seek camouflage in mediocrity, and to revel in lowered expectations." I just love this because it really captures how a sibling relationship can impact you. Superfly was simple and brilliant. The pictures really added to the overall humor of the story. I can't think of anything to correct you on. Your writing is wonderful.
Miranda: Are you a ceramics major? And are you describing the ceramics lab on campus? Two things: I live with a ceramics major and I have been there! You really captured the this place with your description. Your writing added a lot of subtle suspense which creates more intrigue for the reader. For your second blog, it really seems like you went there. It was a seamless description with a clear story, I didn't even think for a second that you hadn't gone. I really love the way you describe things because you aren't afraid to take risks with unique, nontraditional adjectives. The only thing that would really help me as a reader is if you put the prompt number next to your title. It was just help organizationally.
John: In your blog of a trip not taken, I really appreciate the approach you took in finding a place no one actually wanted to go. I would have never thought to take this prompt in that direction. The way you write is very rhythmic and vague, allowing for the reader to really feel as though we are inside your head. I felt as trapped as the writer, and am glad you never actually took this trip. In your post about the football fields, it brought me back to when I was a little girl watching my brother play football. I am glad this place exists for you and your family. What I appreciate about this blog is the optimism that sometimes is lost is your writing. Writing seems to be an outlet for you, which is wonderful, but it's nice to read something with a more upbeat voice as it captures a new side of your writing. The way you use punctuation sometimes confuses me, but other times adds to the flow. So I'm not sure if it's a critic or not, but it's just something to consider...or not. You have a strong voice of your own, so stick to your gut.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
what a place is and how a place seems: Prompt 13
The border is often talked about with very little personal experience involved. It seems as though every politicians and person understands what is best here and what needs to be done to better it. What people often overlook is reality. Sure watching the news can give insight and ideas about what is occurring, but truly submersing oneself in the lifestyle and culture that comes with the border seems to be insignificant on being an expert.
I spent the first 18 years of my life living on the border. This place is my heritage, my home, and an essential element in who I am today. Often times my family and I would take drives into the abandon areas of the border that have generated such fear in the masses. To me, these places offered tranquility and peace of mind. The drive out there was unsettling to the stomach with a lack of paved roads or direction. Sometimes I feared my dad was driving aimlessly in the desert getting us lost with few resources. But really, I have been exposed to many fascist of the Arizona/ Mexico border that are untouched.
My favorite place takes about an hour of off road driving to find. The journey takes me on imaginary roads that wind round and round leaving me nauseous. I know we’re approaching when we see that massive white cross that seems to appear out of no where. It’s placed in the middle of the desert near the border. The exact location is unsure to me, but I can sense that place so distinctly in my mind. We always stop to not only feel our feet on the ground but to also explore the massive cross. There air is dry as the heat radiates through our feet. I can sense something familiarly unfamiliar to me. This place has generated so much chaos in the world and yet it is still so close to home to me. It beams of the Hispanic culture and the journey in which it takes to cross from one side to the other. As I travel a bit down the road I am faced with the metal rods that separate one country from another.
These rods seems pathetic once I encounter them face to face. I can’t quite understand how this “fence” that barely exists can bring upon death, tragedy, and political uproar. It’s not even a fence as it doesn’t even go past my waist. The scattered signs yield political warning of the trouble you may cause if you simply crawl under. A task so simple, yet somehow I don’t dare because of the fear that’s been instilled in my mind. Making the border tangible and real as opposed to a political agenda changes my understanding of it. It seems so silly to have created such fear and intimidation over something so simple standing in front of me.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Untaken Trip: Prompt 11
I didn't really connect with this blog, but I always wanted to take a spontaneous trip alone, and have yet to do it.
I was ready to go and I didn’t care where I was going. It didn’t matter what it would take to get there, but I knew I was going.
There wasn’t a minute to wait.
He dropped me off at the airport and said he wished he could go, but the truth is, I didn’t want him there. I told him I’d call him when I figured out where I was going and I’d see him when I got back. So I walked up to the counter and asked the flight attendant “What’s the cheapest flight available and how soon do I leave.”
Colorado Springs is where I find myself now. A state covered in snow that most people travel to with the intent of participating in winter sports, but I wasn’t skiing or snowboarding or doing anything of the kind. In fact, I had no intention other than to escape my life for a brief moment in time and sooth the never ending thoughts that flood my mind. I took a spontaneous trip to submerse myself in a new environment in the hopes of getting a grasp on my reality.
I find myself hiking Waldo Canyon, a place I never knew existed until about 20 minutes ago. I chose the hike about as randomly as I chose the location to fly into. The chill of the winter takes my breathe away but the powdery snow puts a smile on my face. This weather is in complete contrast to the sunny winters of Phoenix, and that's exactly what I needed. I want my mind to match the calm, falling snow that surrounds me, but it is still filled with thoughts I left behind. I continue to walk down this pathway and I am starting to doubt why I came here. I mean sure the beauty is unheard of and the scenery is refreshing, but still I am walking through a forest by myself. I take a moment, sit down, and breathe.
It is in this moment I realize why I am here. To sit, on this rock, in the middle of this forest, and breathe. I look up only to see trees that stretch to the skies gently covered in snow. The mountains never end and they are covered in trees, snow, and beauty. The simple reality is this: to calm my mind, I needed a moment to escape into the forest and watch the snow gently fall.
I was ready to go and I didn’t care where I was going. It didn’t matter what it would take to get there, but I knew I was going.
There wasn’t a minute to wait.
He dropped me off at the airport and said he wished he could go, but the truth is, I didn’t want him there. I told him I’d call him when I figured out where I was going and I’d see him when I got back. So I walked up to the counter and asked the flight attendant “What’s the cheapest flight available and how soon do I leave.”
Colorado Springs is where I find myself now. A state covered in snow that most people travel to with the intent of participating in winter sports, but I wasn’t skiing or snowboarding or doing anything of the kind. In fact, I had no intention other than to escape my life for a brief moment in time and sooth the never ending thoughts that flood my mind. I took a spontaneous trip to submerse myself in a new environment in the hopes of getting a grasp on my reality.
I find myself hiking Waldo Canyon, a place I never knew existed until about 20 minutes ago. I chose the hike about as randomly as I chose the location to fly into. The chill of the winter takes my breathe away but the powdery snow puts a smile on my face. This weather is in complete contrast to the sunny winters of Phoenix, and that's exactly what I needed. I want my mind to match the calm, falling snow that surrounds me, but it is still filled with thoughts I left behind. I continue to walk down this pathway and I am starting to doubt why I came here. I mean sure the beauty is unheard of and the scenery is refreshing, but still I am walking through a forest by myself. I take a moment, sit down, and breathe.
It is in this moment I realize why I am here. To sit, on this rock, in the middle of this forest, and breathe. I look up only to see trees that stretch to the skies gently covered in snow. The mountains never end and they are covered in trees, snow, and beauty. The simple reality is this: to calm my mind, I needed a moment to escape into the forest and watch the snow gently fall.
Peer Review
Lindsey: Your blog with the lyrics took a different directions than I had imagined! I appreciated how you replayed the evening alongside with each of the songs. Furthermore, each song contributed to a specific memory. Your writing is very clear, direct, and filled with descriptions. I would like to see you try a more abstract style, just something to play with and see what comes of it. Even if you end up not posting it, it's something new to try! The blog with the news story, really is a push for your writing and I like it! Although the story is so tragic, you really captured the drivers experience. I think this is one of my favorite posts from you.
Jesse: The flow of blog 9 was really eloquent. The whole thing was like reading a song and the flow was made clear through your use of italics and bold letters. I really loved moving in and out of your thoughts and your shift of perspective. I could be curious how it would flow without the distinct letters. The confusion could add a new tone. The lyric you chose is blog 8 was very appropriate. I enjoyed hearing your mothers story as your description made me feel as though I was actually there. I also appreciate your ability to point out mundane details in such an interesting manner. You should consider writing an entire blog that way.
Miranda: Your newsworthy blog was right up my alley. It genuinely scares me how disconnected our society has become from the food that we eat. Your writing in this blog surprised me because you stepped away from your normal poetic style. I think it would have been interesting if you wrote the blog from another perspective, although it may also be unnecessarily difficult. Either way, it was nice reading a new style from you. Your lyrics blog left a lot of open ends, but I feel it added to the overall tone of the piece. I like that the man remained a mystery and what lead you to that place also remained a mystery. I feel like listening to the song while reading the blog would have been more affective, but that was out of your control. Overall, I think your posts this week showed a different side of your writing.
John: In your Charlie Sheen blog you really captured the essence of who he is as a person. It is clear that he is someone you really admire and value. I am assuming the news story was based on him as a person, but I am honestly unclear. I feel the blog would have been more affective had I known exactly what the news story was. But overall, the style of writing matched the character being described. Within your lyric blog you captured the confusion and chaos of a relationship. I could really sense that confusion of loving who someone was, and hating who they are now. It was a very distinct tone and the lyrics reflected the situation nicely.
Jesse: The flow of blog 9 was really eloquent. The whole thing was like reading a song and the flow was made clear through your use of italics and bold letters. I really loved moving in and out of your thoughts and your shift of perspective. I could be curious how it would flow without the distinct letters. The confusion could add a new tone. The lyric you chose is blog 8 was very appropriate. I enjoyed hearing your mothers story as your description made me feel as though I was actually there. I also appreciate your ability to point out mundane details in such an interesting manner. You should consider writing an entire blog that way.
Miranda: Your newsworthy blog was right up my alley. It genuinely scares me how disconnected our society has become from the food that we eat. Your writing in this blog surprised me because you stepped away from your normal poetic style. I think it would have been interesting if you wrote the blog from another perspective, although it may also be unnecessarily difficult. Either way, it was nice reading a new style from you. Your lyrics blog left a lot of open ends, but I feel it added to the overall tone of the piece. I like that the man remained a mystery and what lead you to that place also remained a mystery. I feel like listening to the song while reading the blog would have been more affective, but that was out of your control. Overall, I think your posts this week showed a different side of your writing.
John: In your Charlie Sheen blog you really captured the essence of who he is as a person. It is clear that he is someone you really admire and value. I am assuming the news story was based on him as a person, but I am honestly unclear. I feel the blog would have been more affective had I known exactly what the news story was. But overall, the style of writing matched the character being described. Within your lyric blog you captured the confusion and chaos of a relationship. I could really sense that confusion of loving who someone was, and hating who they are now. It was a very distinct tone and the lyrics reflected the situation nicely.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Peeling back Layers: Prompt 8
I wrote this based on a solo I am setting on a dancer. The song has helped inspire the piece, and the movement comes from the topic of layers. With each section of the piece, the dancer reveals a new layer of herself. This is a scene that occurred in the studio. The song is White Blank Page by Mumford and Sons.
Can you lie next to hear and give her your heart, your heart? As well as your body, and
Her hand shakes before she places it on her check. You can sense the fear in her as she begins to reveal the most intimate layer she possesses. She looks as though she’s never touched her face before and the uncertainty swells, yet she persist in articulating each gesture with such grace. Slowly she embraces the back of her head, releasing her neck forward, causing a disruption in her poise as she stumbles backward with her hands grasping her stomach. For a brief moment, you think she may fall, but before you can complete your thought she’s back on her feet again. Her hand now holds a tense fists that peels across her chest that eventually falls to her side, shaking. The tension is still there only to intensify the intention. This can not come from anywhere but within and so quickly she has fallen on her hands and knees. She pauses.
Her white blank page and swelling rage. rage.
She’s patient. She waits. She doesn’t need to get up for anyone. And so, she takes her time slowly coming up. She faces you head on.
You did not think when you sent me to the brink. the brink.
She turns with her chest opening upward and the motion transfers to her leg gliding across the floor. Her tone isn’t the same, as the layer she’s revealed is no longer instilling a sense of fear anymore. No, its become something else. Something more. Her chest collapses forward only to ricochet back upward through her spine. She effortlessly floats one half of her body over the other as her feet barely leave the floor. She spins downward as she allows her body to collapse to the floor. This fall came not from weakness, but instead from control. She pauses. This time it isn’t long before she allows herself to get up and move, not for anyone, or anything, but simply for the essence of who she is.
Can you lie next to hear and give her your heart, your heart? As well as your body, and
Her hand shakes before she places it on her check. You can sense the fear in her as she begins to reveal the most intimate layer she possesses. She looks as though she’s never touched her face before and the uncertainty swells, yet she persist in articulating each gesture with such grace. Slowly she embraces the back of her head, releasing her neck forward, causing a disruption in her poise as she stumbles backward with her hands grasping her stomach. For a brief moment, you think she may fall, but before you can complete your thought she’s back on her feet again. Her hand now holds a tense fists that peels across her chest that eventually falls to her side, shaking. The tension is still there only to intensify the intention. This can not come from anywhere but within and so quickly she has fallen on her hands and knees. She pauses.
Her white blank page and swelling rage. rage.
She’s patient. She waits. She doesn’t need to get up for anyone. And so, she takes her time slowly coming up. She faces you head on.
You did not think when you sent me to the brink. the brink.
She turns with her chest opening upward and the motion transfers to her leg gliding across the floor. Her tone isn’t the same, as the layer she’s revealed is no longer instilling a sense of fear anymore. No, its become something else. Something more. Her chest collapses forward only to ricochet back upward through her spine. She effortlessly floats one half of her body over the other as her feet barely leave the floor. She spins downward as she allows her body to collapse to the floor. This fall came not from weakness, but instead from control. She pauses. This time it isn’t long before she allows herself to get up and move, not for anyone, or anything, but simply for the essence of who she is.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
week 2 Peer Review
Lindsey:
I really enjoyed your post about the kitchen. You really captured the essence of the scene as I felt I were actually standing right there too. Furthermore, the kitchen really came to life with the memories of the door open or closed. It seems so functional and fun all at the same time. Congratulations on a new addition to the family! This post captured the excitement, pain, and joy all that come with having a child. The pictures brought the scene to life. For the Lucky SOB blog, I appreciated how you used the punchline as the title. I still didn't anticipate the story to end that way. I enjoyed the rhythm of that blog and would play with that writing style in future posts.
Jesus: Your word choice always amazes me as it brings out such a unique side to the story. It truly is a character of its own. Your blog about your brother was such a simple memory with so much substance and intrigue due to your strong sense of word choice. The voice changed drastically when writing from someone else perspective. How did you manage that? I really struggle using different voices while writing. Question, do you go by Jesse? If so, I can call you that instead. In your kitchen blog, I laughed when you wrote "I'm not involved in drug trafficking". Such a subtle use of humor that really naturally flowed with the story. I also appreciate how you integrated the description of the kitchen into a story rather than just describing the place. Overall, I really am enjoying reading your blog.
Miranda: Writing from your dogs perspective really brought to life a lot of things about you. What a clever character to choose. You do an amazing job at capturing simple moments and bringing them to life. The dating game is absolutely hilarious. You brought the dad's character to life with his tough edge, and how that reflected on his daughter. Although the daughter remained silent, her presence was still clear. Furthermore, the edginess of the father reflects in the daughter by describing her as grunge. This creates a clear and distinct relationship. I'm simply terrible with grammar and you always catch me, any suggestions?
John: Your blog on prompt 6 tone really caught my attention. The character was so angry and unsettled all while being very clear and descriptive. It made me feel uncomfortable (in a good way) like I as actually got caught in the crossfire of an conversation I shouldn't be apart of. I adored the voice used in this piece as a clear dialect came across. I loved the rawness of the kitchen blog. The relationship between mother and son is very distinct and clear here. In your fathers POV blog, almost brought me to tears. The use of questions created a definite tone and captured your message. Also, we aren't suppose to respond to this, but the blog about you is really great. I think repeating the same question over and over offered a lot of the overall flow of the story.
I really enjoyed your post about the kitchen. You really captured the essence of the scene as I felt I were actually standing right there too. Furthermore, the kitchen really came to life with the memories of the door open or closed. It seems so functional and fun all at the same time. Congratulations on a new addition to the family! This post captured the excitement, pain, and joy all that come with having a child. The pictures brought the scene to life. For the Lucky SOB blog, I appreciated how you used the punchline as the title. I still didn't anticipate the story to end that way. I enjoyed the rhythm of that blog and would play with that writing style in future posts.
Jesus: Your word choice always amazes me as it brings out such a unique side to the story. It truly is a character of its own. Your blog about your brother was such a simple memory with so much substance and intrigue due to your strong sense of word choice. The voice changed drastically when writing from someone else perspective. How did you manage that? I really struggle using different voices while writing. Question, do you go by Jesse? If so, I can call you that instead. In your kitchen blog, I laughed when you wrote "I'm not involved in drug trafficking". Such a subtle use of humor that really naturally flowed with the story. I also appreciate how you integrated the description of the kitchen into a story rather than just describing the place. Overall, I really am enjoying reading your blog.
Miranda: Writing from your dogs perspective really brought to life a lot of things about you. What a clever character to choose. You do an amazing job at capturing simple moments and bringing them to life. The dating game is absolutely hilarious. You brought the dad's character to life with his tough edge, and how that reflected on his daughter. Although the daughter remained silent, her presence was still clear. Furthermore, the edginess of the father reflects in the daughter by describing her as grunge. This creates a clear and distinct relationship. I'm simply terrible with grammar and you always catch me, any suggestions?
John: Your blog on prompt 6 tone really caught my attention. The character was so angry and unsettled all while being very clear and descriptive. It made me feel uncomfortable (in a good way) like I as actually got caught in the crossfire of an conversation I shouldn't be apart of. I adored the voice used in this piece as a clear dialect came across. I loved the rawness of the kitchen blog. The relationship between mother and son is very distinct and clear here. In your fathers POV blog, almost brought me to tears. The use of questions created a definite tone and captured your message. Also, we aren't suppose to respond to this, but the blog about you is really great. I think repeating the same question over and over offered a lot of the overall flow of the story.
Juxtaposition: Assignmnet 9
I wrote this blog from my perspective and my sisters perspective.
January 8th, 2011. A day I was already not looking forward too, that only became worse than I could have imagined. I had spent 4 years in college, just finished my semester of student teaching, and now I was forced to taking an exam that would certify me to be a teacher. I spent weeks studying for the exam but the study guides left me more confused than certain about the test I was about to take. I decided to head up to Tucson early and get in some last minute studying before the exam. Also, my adviser was up there so we decided to meet up and talk about what steps to take next for my career. We met at a Barnes and Noble and I was happy to see her. Our conversation was interrupted by an obscene amount of sirens passing by. I dismissed them as the sounds of the city and continued to enjoy our meeting.
“Prosecutors charged Jared L. Loughner, a troubled 22-year-old college dropout, with five federal counts on Sunday, including the attempted assassination of a member of Congress, in connection with a shooting rampage on Saturday morning that left six people dead and 14 wounded.” (Lacey).
They say you always just know. That somewhere in the depth of your heart you know when you meet that person. It took me 9 years to finally get the words out of my mouth. 9 years to admit nothing else seemed right. We didn’t want the conversation to end so we stayed up until 3:30 in the morning. I knew and he knew that in a few days I would be back in Tempe and he would be back in China. We’d have to wait another year until we saw each other, so we planned for Tucson the next day. Both our sisters we’re getting certified to be teachers, so we figured we’d buy them some celebratory drinks after they finished the exam. I went to bed feeling like the world was mine and nothing could bring me down.
“Special Agent Tony M. Taylor Jr, of the F.B.I. said in an affidavit that an envelope found in a safe in the home bore these handwritten words: ‘I planned ahead,’ ‘My assassination’ and ‘Giffords’” (Lacey).
I finally finished my exam and expected to feel relief but the news of Gabrielle Giffords shooting hit me so hard I thought I’d be knocked to the floor. The Barnes and Noble, where I met my adviser, was directly between the shooters house and the Safeway. The sirens I heard were the sounds of people rushing to save lives. I somehow found myself on the outskirts and in the middle of a tragedy. My sister was the first person I called, she had come up to Tucson and I was going to meet her at a restaurant on 4th ave. I was about to pull up to the restaurant when I heard a crash directly into my car and mother screeching at me at the top of her lungs. Thinking I had just killed her child, I immediately started to panic as this day was crashing in on me faster than I knew how to handle. Fortunately, The kid was fine and he so sweetly asked me “Did I hurt your car?” and the witnesses reassured me that I was not in the wrong since the kid had crashed his bike into me. Still, compiling all of the days events left me with no other option than to cry.
“An outpouring of grief was on display all over Tucson, where friends of the many victims joined complete strangers in lighting candles and offering tear-filled prayers” (Lacey).
I woke up that morning with a smile on my face. I was looking forward to the day ahead and was enjoying spending the break in my hometown. I turned on the tv to find the tragedy that occurred in Tucson and immediately yelled “Holy shit Dad! There was a shooting in Tucson!”. I spent the whole morning with this weird juxtaposition of emotions. The evening before left me speechless, the news on the tv hit close to home. On the drive up to Tucson, the shootings were a clear topic of conversation. When we finally got there, I could sense the distinct feelings of tragedy in the air, yet I still felt so giddy and nervous. We sat down, ate dinner, and waited for my sister to call. The waiter told us he couldn’t believe what had happened that day, and everywhere we turned we were reminded of the tragedy. When I finally heard from my sister, she was balling. She told me she was near the restaurant and wanted to head home immediately. I found her parked in an alley crying. I didn’t expect to say goodbye to him so soon, but I had to go home with my sister. What an unsettling way to say goodbye knowing it’d be a long time until we saw each other again.
“The documents also indicated that the suspect had previous contact with the congresswoman. Also found in the safe at Mr. Loughner’s home was a letter from Ms. Giffords thanking him for attending a 2007 ‘Congress on Your Corner’ event, like the one she was holding Saturday morning when she was shot” (Lacey).
Lacy, Marc. "Evidence Points to Methodical Planning." The New York Times. 9 Jan. 2011. Web. 31 Jan. 2011.
January 8th, 2011. A day I was already not looking forward too, that only became worse than I could have imagined. I had spent 4 years in college, just finished my semester of student teaching, and now I was forced to taking an exam that would certify me to be a teacher. I spent weeks studying for the exam but the study guides left me more confused than certain about the test I was about to take. I decided to head up to Tucson early and get in some last minute studying before the exam. Also, my adviser was up there so we decided to meet up and talk about what steps to take next for my career. We met at a Barnes and Noble and I was happy to see her. Our conversation was interrupted by an obscene amount of sirens passing by. I dismissed them as the sounds of the city and continued to enjoy our meeting.
“Prosecutors charged Jared L. Loughner, a troubled 22-year-old college dropout, with five federal counts on Sunday, including the attempted assassination of a member of Congress, in connection with a shooting rampage on Saturday morning that left six people dead and 14 wounded.” (Lacey).
They say you always just know. That somewhere in the depth of your heart you know when you meet that person. It took me 9 years to finally get the words out of my mouth. 9 years to admit nothing else seemed right. We didn’t want the conversation to end so we stayed up until 3:30 in the morning. I knew and he knew that in a few days I would be back in Tempe and he would be back in China. We’d have to wait another year until we saw each other, so we planned for Tucson the next day. Both our sisters we’re getting certified to be teachers, so we figured we’d buy them some celebratory drinks after they finished the exam. I went to bed feeling like the world was mine and nothing could bring me down.
“Special Agent Tony M. Taylor Jr, of the F.B.I. said in an affidavit that an envelope found in a safe in the home bore these handwritten words: ‘I planned ahead,’ ‘My assassination’ and ‘Giffords’” (Lacey).
I finally finished my exam and expected to feel relief but the news of Gabrielle Giffords shooting hit me so hard I thought I’d be knocked to the floor. The Barnes and Noble, where I met my adviser, was directly between the shooters house and the Safeway. The sirens I heard were the sounds of people rushing to save lives. I somehow found myself on the outskirts and in the middle of a tragedy. My sister was the first person I called, she had come up to Tucson and I was going to meet her at a restaurant on 4th ave. I was about to pull up to the restaurant when I heard a crash directly into my car and mother screeching at me at the top of her lungs. Thinking I had just killed her child, I immediately started to panic as this day was crashing in on me faster than I knew how to handle. Fortunately, The kid was fine and he so sweetly asked me “Did I hurt your car?” and the witnesses reassured me that I was not in the wrong since the kid had crashed his bike into me. Still, compiling all of the days events left me with no other option than to cry.
“An outpouring of grief was on display all over Tucson, where friends of the many victims joined complete strangers in lighting candles and offering tear-filled prayers” (Lacey).
I woke up that morning with a smile on my face. I was looking forward to the day ahead and was enjoying spending the break in my hometown. I turned on the tv to find the tragedy that occurred in Tucson and immediately yelled “Holy shit Dad! There was a shooting in Tucson!”. I spent the whole morning with this weird juxtaposition of emotions. The evening before left me speechless, the news on the tv hit close to home. On the drive up to Tucson, the shootings were a clear topic of conversation. When we finally got there, I could sense the distinct feelings of tragedy in the air, yet I still felt so giddy and nervous. We sat down, ate dinner, and waited for my sister to call. The waiter told us he couldn’t believe what had happened that day, and everywhere we turned we were reminded of the tragedy. When I finally heard from my sister, she was balling. She told me she was near the restaurant and wanted to head home immediately. I found her parked in an alley crying. I didn’t expect to say goodbye to him so soon, but I had to go home with my sister. What an unsettling way to say goodbye knowing it’d be a long time until we saw each other again.
“The documents also indicated that the suspect had previous contact with the congresswoman. Also found in the safe at Mr. Loughner’s home was a letter from Ms. Giffords thanking him for attending a 2007 ‘Congress on Your Corner’ event, like the one she was holding Saturday morning when she was shot” (Lacey).
Lacy, Marc. "Evidence Points to Methodical Planning." The New York Times. 9 Jan. 2011. Web. 31 Jan. 2011.
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