Peer Review

hey guys! This weekend is my senior transition show. I choreographed 2 works and one is performed each night. I wanted to invite you all if you are interested in coming. Here is a link with more information:

http://herbergerinstitute.asu.edu/news/press_release.php?id=846

Also here is a promotional video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5UYK-8jJ3A

if you guys end up going, let me know.

Lindsey: From the start of this writing, I could tell as soon as you read the prompt, you knew you would be writing about this place. Throughout this piece you went in and out of using long descriptive sentences to short action sentences. This allowed for a really nice flow and made the action within the story really pop out. The descriptions were very vivid and captured not only the scenery, but the essence of the cabin. The only part of the story I could suggest to challenge yourself with is trying to write from a new perspective. Since the cabin is a place in your past, it would have been interesting to hear the story from your perspective back then. Maybe even go in and out of different perspectives. Overall, I though the story had a really nice flow that made for an enjoyable read.

Jesse: In your blog "it takes me forever to get anywhere" I was thoroughly surprised that the trip never happened, even though I knew that was the prompt. I got so swept up in the relationship between you and your sister, I forgot what the writing was about. I adore your use of language and how it captures the simple things with such honesty. For example, " From that day on I decided to manipulate people's perspectives, to seek camouflage in mediocrity, and to revel in lowered expectations." I just love this because it really captures how a sibling relationship can impact you. Superfly was simple and brilliant. The pictures really added to the overall humor of the story. I can't think of anything to correct you on. Your writing is wonderful.

Miranda: Are you a ceramics major? And are you describing the ceramics lab on campus? Two things: I live with a ceramics major and I have been there! You really captured the this place with your description. Your writing added a lot of subtle suspense which creates more intrigue for the reader. For your second blog, it really seems like you went there. It was a seamless description with a clear story, I didn't even think for a second that you hadn't gone. I really love the way you describe things because you aren't afraid to take risks with unique, nontraditional adjectives. The only thing that would really help me as a reader is if you put the prompt number next to your title. It was just help organizationally.

John: In your blog of a trip not taken, I really appreciate the approach you took in finding a place no one actually wanted to go. I would have never thought to take this prompt in that direction. The way you write is very rhythmic and vague, allowing for the reader to really feel as though we are inside your head. I felt as trapped as the writer, and am glad you never actually took this trip. In your post about the football fields, it brought me back to when I was a little girl watching my brother play football. I am glad this place exists for you and your family. What I appreciate about this blog is the optimism that sometimes is lost is your writing. Writing seems to be an outlet for you, which is wonderful, but it's nice to read something with a more upbeat voice as it captures a new side of your writing. The way you use punctuation sometimes confuses me, but other times adds to the flow. So I'm not sure if it's a critic or not, but it's just something to consider...or not. You have a strong voice of your own, so stick to your gut.