over : Prompt 45

hey guys. so I steered off the course of the prompt. I wanted to write about a piece I choreographed (which is a non paying job) because it is a job that actually changed me. I spent nearly a year on the piece, so this is just a glimpse of what happened. Writing is a huge part of my process, so I went back into my journal and inserted little parts I wrote over the span of that year.

The job was far from mundane, boring, monotonous but not nearly exciting. It required an obscene amount of work and the ability to dive deep into my own thought process.
I have come to a cross road in my piece. I wanted to integrate over stimulation as the means of drowning in my piece but I am uncertain how to approach that or convey it clearly to the audience. I know that breathe will be key and really allowing it to move me. I need to be consumed with breathe, let the breathe over stimulate the body.

I wanted to do a project on societies drowning in over stimulation. Everywhere I look people are plugged in to something. Its as though people in my generation don’t even know what existence outside of stimulation is as we have become entirely consumed in it.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the structure of the piece. Where it starts and where it ends and at what point balance becomes apart of the piece. I feel the piece should begin already drowning, seeing as our society is continuously drowning in over stimulation. There is no real start or end to the piece, it needs to convey a never ending problem. Then comes to euphoria. When someone drowns they reach a state of euphoria. I don’t know how this transition will occur. I think that can only be discovered as the process unfolds allowing creation to happen. The audience may discover their own understanding of this, I may not be present in this decision.

It had been 5 months since the seed had been planted in my brain. I was starting to understanding the process of creating a work and what it means to be honest about that process. It wasn’t about me or my commentary on over stimulation, it was about the piece being created. the funny thing I’ve been noticing is how unnoticed over stimulation goes. It’s almost as if it’s non existent, when in reality it basically consumes the world we live in. a never ending series of distractions.

Eileen Standley became my mentor and she changed my life forever. I wanted to involve the audience without forcing them to participate. She made me realize that it is not about just representing over stimulation in the body, but about over stimulating the space. If the space becomes over stimulated, the audience will be naturally be apart of this process. I feel like my process is overcoming me, rather than me overcoming the process. I am somehow lost in it, in a sense I am drowning with no euphoria in sight. I am overwhelmed with doubt, I am fearful of what will come next. I have over stimulated myself my creating this piece. I am starting to drown in the work.

The piece has since been performed. On top of nearly a journal full of writing, there have been endless hours spent in the studio generating movement. I created a structured improvisational score that could take three pages to type out. This piece was some of the hardest work that I have done and it is far from finished. It is a process, a never ending, always going, process.